Photo by Ruth Hartnell, used under Creative Commons licence.

It’s Valentine’s Day and the world is full of hearts and flowers. If you’re lucky, you’ll spend tonight gazing into your loved one’s eyes over flickering candles. But real love isn’t like that, is it?

Real love is about making your relationship work in daylight.

I believe that the five principles of taekwondo can be applied to our relationships with our nearest and dearest. The five core values strengthen love and make it more beautiful. Here’s how.

Courtesy: when you get to know someone really well, you relax. That’s natural – and it’s good to be yourself. But just how relaxed should we be? It’s easy to let our behaviour slide, until we are taking someone we used to appreciate every day for granted. 

Integrity: trust is a precious thing. If you get away with a little lie, the next lie you tell will be bigger. 

Perseverance: there will be difficult times, but if you’re in it for the long-term, you have to have what it takes to keep on trying.

Self-control: the person you love most shouldn’t get the worst of you.  If you’re tired after a long day, or a meeting that went badly, or an argument you had with somebody else – your partner shouldn’t have to take the brunt.  Keep in control of yourself and don’t lash out.

Indomitable spirit: in a long relationship, I think this way to understand this is ‘hope’.  When you have problems, you can solve them – together.  When there’s a dark night – morning will come.  Sometimes you will be stronger than your partner. Sometimes they will be stronger than you. Together – you can win. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!